I don't want to grow up !

Lot of things happening in my life right now. Never had I put myself into so many tests !

I met one of my old friends from school last Friday. I don't get to meet him as often as I meet my other school friends cuz he doesn't work in Bangalore. He is one of the very few who has been the same and hence he reminds me of my school life more than anyone else. I think its amazing how he hasn't "changed".

I realize it's dangerous to take things for granted at this point in one's life. There seems to be no second chance. People are always judging you. You are always judging people. You seek stability, but you fear that you might get into a comfort zone or might get blinded over certain things that are needed to keep pace with this fast-changing world. You feel the only way to catch up is by keeping yourself open to "change". But, if you have noticed, its not so easy to "change" after all. It is like throwing yourself onto a different planet with no food and transport and asking you to live there for sometime till you get thrown to another planet ! There's un-certainity at each step and if you want to be the winner you better be prepared for it :)

At the same time, you fear you might be getting influenced from outside a little too much and hence loosing grip on your life. You feel your principles and ideals have gone for a toss while trying to keep pace in the rat race.

Finally, you feel it wasnt worth the risk of putting yourself into so much commotion. You want to get back to your younger days where things were certain and the only things you had to worry about was whether you had done your home-work or not, whether you had polished your shoes, cut your nails before your enter the assembly area....
Things were just "black and white" and now everything appears to be grey ... Again there, you are not sure if it just "appears" or if it really "is" grey ! Call me a mad man ? maybe...